19 things you’d be doing instead of writing an essay now

Essay writing is the bane of your existence if you’re a college student. You procrastinate, you put it off, you just hate it. It’s not only the writing process itself that you despise, but you just can’t stop day-dreaming about all the stuff you would be doing in this time, if you weren’t writing an essay.

1. Catching up on sleep – Definitely the number 1 priority, you never seem to get enough sleep, so if you didn’t have to write an essay right now? You’d be catching up on those ZZZs.
2. Catching up on Game of Thrones – Who are you kidding? You wouldn’t be sleeping; you’d be catching up on Game of Thrones! You have to find out whether Jon Snow is really dead or not.
3. Getting drunk – This one is a natural state of existence for college students, so you don’t need to have it explained to you.
4. Playing beer pong (see #3) – A favorite past-time of frat boys all around, beer pong is a collegiate rite of passage. It is also what you would be most likely doing, instead of writing an essay.
5. Beating your own score at your favorite video game – No one else understands, but I do. It’s not about proving something to others; it’s about proving it to yourself that you can.
6. Read Buzzfeed listicles – You know you love them, and you totally spend more time than you want to admit reading them. I’m onto you!
7. Nursing your hangover (see #3) – Remember #3? And #4? Yeah, that’s probably what you were doing last night, which means now you feel like your head is detached from your body.
8. Wasting time on 9gag – Ah, sweet procrastination. Useless? Yes. Stupid? Oh, yes. Satisfying? Dear God, yes.
9. Falling down a YouTube rabbit hole – Uh-oh, you’re in the “weird part of YouTube” again. How did that happen?
10. Stuffing your face with the homemade cookies your mom sent you in your care package – Take this one at face value; it requires no further explanation.
11. Catching up on your reading – Let’s be honest; you wouldn’t really do it, but you like to pretend you would, because God damn, you have like, 15 books to read this semester.
12. Texting – Who are you kidding? You don’t have a girlfriend/boyfriend, but that doesn’t mean you’re not pestering that cute girl/boy in your Psych 101 class.
13. Crying in your pillow – College is hard, you guys, and sometimes, it gets to you. Every morning. And late at night. And on your way to work. And in the break room.
14. Hanging out on Reddit – You tell yourself you like to be informed, but you’re just there for the memes.
15. Taking a long, hot bath – Yeah, right! There are only very cold showers when you’re living the dorm room life, but keep dreaming.
16. Calling your mom – Well, you need money. Again. So it’s time for your weekly “I love you” call to mom. Shameless, but also effective!
17. Emailing your teacher to beg for a higher grade – We’ve all been there. “I’m sorry I didn’t study, but my grandma died, and I had Yellow Fever, Mr. Burns. Can you please give me a passing grade?” Classic.
18. Working out – All that beer had to go somewhere, and it chose your belly and your hips. Well, it’s time to hit the gym!
19. Contemplate switching your major – Feeling lost and panicking about having chosen the wrong major is practically a requirement for any student.